For quite a while, I’ve been struggling with finding the needed patience to ‘deal’ with my life.
I’m not making an attempt at the dramatic, as every life has its inherent ups and downs, and we all deal with the occasional emotional roller coaster. However some days, I feel much like Bilbo Baggins when he said, ‘I feel… thin. Sort of stretched, like… butter scraped over too much bread.’ There are aspects of my life that can be more or less managed, (I’m not even going to insinuate that I have anything approaching control), and then there are areas where I feel genuinely out of control, or rather, like there is a vortex of activity spinning around me, affecting me, but I can do nothing to reign it in.
Acknowledging that you can only do so much some times, I sought ought venues to attempt to assuage my stress. One such venue was taking Rachelle Mee_Chapman’s Taking Notice Course, which was an e-course devoted to helping you reconnect with the sometimes smaller items in our day to day that can ground you and bring immense joy. It was a simple and powerful reminder that beauty and simplicity are all around us…. all we have to do is let it in.
In a similar vein, I’m on the mailing list for Susan Piver’s emails in regards to Buddhism and meditation. They oft relate to real-life scenarios and applications for Buddhist practice and mindsets. Her last several posts/emails have been in reference to six paramitas of Buddhism and how to apply them to everyday life. Today’s was particularly interesting as it referenced the possibility of patience, if you change your mindset. This immediately got my attention, as patience is not something I come by easily. Susan writes that patience is always possible, if you have no expectations.
ok… so, for whatever reason, this was a great big Shakabuku for me. No, seriously.
I read that this morning, whilst sitting in traffic, or waiting for my first meeting to start (yes, I forget which… sometimes time runs together for me. In any sense, what I was doing exactly at the moment I read it is immaterial.. what matter is I read it). After reading it, there was a great big shift as things slowly slid into place.
A dear friend has told me for years that ‘frustrations are a function of expectations’. I wholeheartedly agree with him, however managing those expectations has also been a pain point for me. I have only ever expected of others what I can honestly ask of myself. Distill that and the converse is, I expect the same from you, that I expect from myself.
But after reading this, that patience comes when you have no expectations…there was a an awakened peace. A nudge from Spirit to say, ‘be gentle with yourself and with others.’ There is truly a sense of calm and serenity that I’ve not felt in a long while. I can’t clearly articulate it except to say that things, somehow, make more sense than they did this morning.
The maelstrom of work that is staring at me as I write this post isn’t going anywhere, and is in fact only increasing the longer I give it the evil eye, but I truly feel no stress in it’s regard. The cyclone of activity that is whirling away in my personal sphere is certainly not cleaning itself up anytime soon, but… it feels a smidgen more manageable and a lot less likely to leave me curled up on the kitchen floor in the fetal position.
So appreciative of the human condition, of the ability to clarify my dogma, and for friends who remind me of the necessities of child-like faith and wisdom.
All is well.
(somehow, that seems to be enough.)