Monthly Archives: October 2010

>growth

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>“I beg you…to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don’t search for the answers, which could not be given you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without ever noticing it, live your way into the answer…” – Rainer Maria Rilke

Life is a never-ending journey. It’s cyclical, joyful, and painful. The lessons we don’t learn one year, grow in intensity as our years go on. The sweetest lessons, I’m finding, are those you learn and grow from, and you get the benefit of reaping the results of being a good student.

The Universe likes to bestow its boon. (I want to thank you, for every sacrifice).

“Freedom from obsession is not about something you do; it’s about knowing who you are. It’s about recognizing what sustains you and what exhausts you.” ~ Geneen Roth

Learning who I am, who I really am, and being comfortable with what I found, has been one of the hardest lessons, and longest journeys I’ve ever been on. The most difficult aspect of this journey, is also acknowledging that it will ever remain in flux, as I continue to grow and learn and become the person I am meant to be in the future. (blessed are we as the twilight descends and the magick of dusk is upon us).

As I’m continually entering new phases of my life, I’m reminded to leave my tears where they fall, and not carry them with me (at the dawning of this new day). Their weight, sorrow, joy, pain… the heft of what those tears mean can no longer serve me as I move forward into this new space of .. me.

(woman am I, spirit am I, I am the infinite within my soul)

My journey through this life is mine own. Those who chose to walk with me… those whom I choose to walk with… all are those to whom I’m responsible to and for. I make no claim to what others say, or do, or feel… just as I expect them to make no claims to my words, actions or feelings. I may have an opinion on other’s actions, but there is a fine line between opinion and judgment. I know not where they are – mentally, emotionally, and spiritually- so the distinction of whether they do right or wrong lies not in my realm, but in the realm where they and their Gods live. (what matters to them, doesn’t change anything)

Show the love.

That’s all we can do that will ever, ever make a damned bit of difference. And I don’t mean just showing the love to yourself, but to those who love you, who like you, even those who spit on the ground as you walk by.

Show the love.

Shake off all the lower vibration bullshit and keep your groove moving in the direction in which you know it should be moving. (dance with me into the colors of the dusk… when you have awoken from the dreams broken, come and dance with me…)

What other think of you simply doesn’t matter. What do YOU think of you? What is the quality of your love for yourself and for others? Do you resonate peace?

Tied within this, is also my struggle with what I call my inner warrior. I don’t presume to think that everyone has it, but I know that most of the women in my circle of women have this inner fierceness that I certainly am glad is on my side. My inner warrior is of the scorched earth ilk, which often puts me at direct odds with myself. How can I be a warrior (when the time calls for it) and still be in touch with peace, love, harmony and nurturing?

The polar oppositeness of that duality has plagued me for years. How do you make peace with a blood fury? (and a member of the human race, I want to free my mentality and use my ability to get where I want to be..i want to be free).

I don’t have the answer to that yet, but I continue to meditate on the path of the peaceful warrior. Thankful I have people in my life that understand and are supportive… and thankful to those in my past who introduced me to that particular path.