Monthly Archives: September 2009

>crocheting and the active mind

Standard

>for my 33rd birthday, i bought myself a gift.  the first birthday gift i’ve ever purchased for myself (and lemme tell you, i was so proud of myself).

i purchased a starter set of crochet hooks, knitting needles,various accoutrement (row counters, markers, huge safety pin looking things that hold your spot like a bookmark, etc.), a bag in which to carry said accoutrement, and lots of yarn.

i have to blame my friend Kimberly for this a little.  she’s is such an artist extraordinaire, both in textile arts as well as paint and brush, drawing, sculpting, jewelry making… i’m telling you, there is nothing she can’t do.  we work together and i would see her constantly with yarn and hook in hand, beautiful creations jumping from her hands while we chatted at lunch everyday.  i wanted to learn how (hence the birthday present to myself when i was scarcely affording anything.  i self-rationalized and justified a self-improvement and expansion of skills purchase, especially since it was my birthday.)

This is my box of patterns.

nearly 2 years later, i am crocheting nearly every day and loving every minute.  it is my active mind meditation.  i can sit, especially if i’m comfortable with a pattern, and just bliss out/zone out and let my fingers fly. crocheting takes my mind off of my daily worries and stresses and allows me to relax.  i can’t completely explain it, but it falls in the same vein of people cleaning house, or cooking, or gardening when they need a little relaxation therapy without taking a nap. i’m also learning that i have a hard time relaxing completely.  i can’t just sit on the couch and veg, i have to be reading, or writing, or sketching, or crocheting.  i’m learning that i’m maybe a little more ADD than i thought i was when i was growing up.

ok, maybe a lot more.

i don’t consider this a bad thing, just a further inward realization of my outward self.

last night i finished the latest in a series of dishcloths.  may not seem like a big deal, but we are going through a big de-cluttering around our house and part of that, is streamlining. how do streamlining and dishcloths go together you ask?

well, i’ll tell you.  in cutting the extraneous out of our day to day, one of the very small things we’ve cut out are sponges.  I’m using eco-friendly recycled yarn to makes dishclothes, so that we can stop buying sponges.  dishcloths are healthier, in that they don’t hold bacteria like sponges, can be washed at the end of everyday. by not participating in the cycle anymore, we aren’t contributing to the need to constantly reproduce this item. yes, i’m aware that one family can only purchase so many sponges in a year.  but, it makes, me feel good to contribute less in this particular aspect.  hopefully, i’m also teaching the kids that we don’t have the luxury of living a disposable life.

 i guess that’s partially what my journey of the last few years have been about.  not being disposable.  not living a lifestyle that favors material wealth or running out to buy the latest greatest… whatever.  being happy in who i am, who we are.
living a homemade life. a life of substance and meaning. by crocheting with recycled materials, and using those to make usable items for my family, friends and loved ones, i feel like i’m contributing to being substantial.
yeah…i like that.

>lessons from cyndi lauper…

Standard

>when i was 9 years old, i was mad for cyndi lauper. i wanted to be more like her when i grew up than like madonna (whom everyone else wanted to be like).

this is the cyndi lauper i grew up with.

fast forward to this morning and i’m treated to this on blisschick’s site.

methinks there’s a lesson to be learned here….

>Mabon and what the harvest of the year has yielded

Standard

>Sigh.

It’s been a long couple of weeks since my last post, and things have changed completely at home again. I won’t go into too much detail, as most of it is just painful. My eldest has moved in with dad full-time. I told her that I’d be a raving hypocrite if I didn’t allow and hell, even encourage, her to chase her happiness with as much vehemence as I have.

It hurts like hell to take the high road. I guess the harvest of this is she is taking my lessons learned and applying it to her own life.

On the converse, on the night of our first legacy Reiki circle, my eldest son decided to move in with us full-time. He and dad are like oil and water. And before you ask, this is a little different than eldest daughter moving out. My ex and I always knew, I think that the eldest boy would leave him someday. I feel like this is a shot from left field in regards to my eldest daughter.

It’s such a joy to have him here all the time, my warrior.

The harvest of this, I suppose, is that all your chickens will eventually come home to roost.

I know this is rambling, all over the place. I guess that’s indicative of how things feel lately.. rambling. Work is incredibly busy and bringing me to a place that I don’t think I’ve ever been, career wise. It’s not overtly stressful, it’s internally stressful. I’m good at what I do, but it’s not soul-nourishing, and that’s a good portion of where my conflict comes from.

Some days I feel torn down the middle between the need for soul-nourishment and the desire to excel at my career. If I could be an artist full-time, I would. I just don’t know how to get there without leaving my family in the lurch financially. Right now, it seems I must travel in two directions at once. Trying to climb the corporate ladder, and at the same time, completely covet Boho girl’s dreads

This is a very interesting place.

Mabon, and the harvest, have brought me to a place of further growth. Which I guess means I’ve sown the seeds for this growth over the last year, and these challenges, these opportunities, are things that are coming my way.

My continual harvest of change.

On a cool note.. I found this video on one of my fav sitesSummer Pierre:

Enjoy the links and nourish your soul!